http://menopausegoddessblog.org/ menopausegoddessblog.org I broke my toe the other day when I tripped over the wrought iron coffee table legs. The doctor has admonished me to keep weight off my left foot. And no hula or power-walking or golf for 4-6 weeks. My first horrified thought is that I'll be as big as a house if I don't exercise, thanks to the menopausal side effect of weight gain. <br />In the midst of all the changes wrought by Menopause, we goddesses find ourselves in dire need of succor. We turn to our favorite comfort foods for solace and healing. Alas, we cannot splurge without paying a fearsome price these days. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;17; Tue, 08 May 0107 00:00:00 CST Just about the time that 'miss' became 'ma'am' and compliments took a backhanded turn, (gee, you look good.......for your age), Menopause burst through the door like an unwanted guest. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;12;;17; Thu, 01 Feb 2007 00:00:00 CST Why Menopausal Goddesses? Well, our core group of midlife "sisters" decided that we were certainly becoming 'something' with all the changes besieging us at this time of life. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;12;;14;;18; Fri, 02 Feb 2007 00:00:00 CST "I'd just like to age gracefully," so many women I know have said. What exactly do we mean by that? <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12; Wed, 07 Feb 2007 00:00:00 CST Hot flashes may be the most intense of physical changes symptomatic of the Change. When your body temperature goes from 98.6 to 3098.6 in the space of a heartbeat, your attention becomes solely fixated on that HEAT! Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;17; Mon, 12 Feb 2007 00:00:00 CST Menopause is not a disease, but it sure feels like one sometimes. One with no end in sight. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;17; Thu, 15 Feb 2007 00:00:00 CST Menopause is a singularly unifying experience for all women. It transcends social, cultural, economic, language, and other barriers to bring us together in a flash. Literally. <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;14;;17; Sun, 18 Feb 2007 00:00:00 CST Nora Ephron's new book of essays entitled I Feel Bad About My Neck And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman underscores the need for real wisdom from real women when going through the the transitions of menopause, midlife, and aging. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;12; Wed, 21 Feb 2007 00:00:00 CST Some women actually experience increased libido during menopause. If this describes you, skip this part. (And know that the rest of us are so envious of you! Victoria-Venus is an exception, since she is one of you.) Decreased libido is a much more common function of menopause than the converse. It's not that we don't want to have sex, it's that we just don't think about it. At all. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;12;;13;;17; Wed, 28 Feb 2007 00:00:00 CST For the past three days, I planned to write a humorous and helpful blog entry about........I forget. Menopause brain has warped my ability to think, remember and carry out simple tasks. So the only thing to do is write about the FOG. <br /> <br />Perhaps the most prevalent of the menopausal mental changes is also the most disconcerting. Virtually overnight, a bank of fog seeps into our minds. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;17; Mon, 05 Mar 2007 00:00:00 CST While I didn't actually burn my bra the first time back in the late 60's/early 70's, I did so symbolically. I simply refused to wear one in honor of the emancipation of women. Of course, I caved later when I entered the workplace, strapping myself into my 34B harness every day. It didn't bother me all that much at the time. Now with the advent of menopause, a lot of us are 'burning' our bras. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;17; Sat, 10 Mar 2007 00:00:00 CST It's not personal. It's not that we don't love you any more or find you attractive. If we are remote, weepy, cranky, or so hot that we can't stand to be touched, it's not about you. Even though it affects you. We are just doing our best. Imagine if you went from 16 to 60 hormonally in a matter of months. <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;13; Fri, 16 Mar 2007 00:00:00 CST What do midlife, menopausal women want most? Not jewelry, not flowers, not fame, not even a romantic dinner. We want TIME! <br /> <br />For the majority of goddesses, our fondest wish is for "time to ourselves". Having spent so many years being nurturing, attentive and productive, we now wish to spend time with ourselves. Alone. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;10;;16; Fri, 23 Mar 2007 00:00:00 CST Gravity may have its good points, like keeping us from flying off this sweet blue orb in space. But it sure isn't kind to us midlife goddesses. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;17; Fri, 06 Apr 2007 00:00:00 CST I remember hearing in the distant past that fire is necessary for growth, that redwood seeds are ignited to grow when fire moves through. Perhaps our hot flashes have germinated the creative seed that lies within each of us. <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;11;;18; Fri, 13 Apr 2007 00:00:00 CST A number of external stimuli can trigger a hot flash and most health 'experts' recommend avoiding them to decrease amount and severity of your hot flashes. Caffeine, chocolate, and alcoholic beverages are three of the main culprits associated with hot flashes. You may choose to decrease your consumption of these substances or avoid them altogether. The Venuses as a group felt that giving up these three pleasures was tantamount to living a life without sunshine. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;15; Fri, 20 Apr 2007 00:00:00 CST My hard drive crashed this week. Kaput. DOA. Am I angry? Not at all. I have a great deal of empathy for my poor computer. My own brain augered in months ago with the advent of Mentalpause. And unlike my Mac, I am definitely past warranty. <br /> <br />Some days I can barely remember anything. I lay my car keys down in the store and walk out with out them. I forget what I went in the room for. I forget the thought that just popped into my head. And I forget words!!! Words that I know!! In my native tongue!! Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;11; Tue, 01 May 2007 00:00:00 CST I broke my toe the other day when I tripped over the wrought iron coffee table legs. The doctor has admonished me to keep weight off my left foot. And no hula or power-walking or golf for 4-6 weeks. My first horrified thought is that I'll be as big as a house if I don't exercise, thanks to the menopausal side effect of weight gain. <br />In the midst of all the changes wrought by Menopause, we goddesses find ourselves in dire need of succor. We turn to our favorite comfort foods for solace and healing. Alas, we cannot splurge without paying a fearsome price these days. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;17; Tue, 08 May 2007 00:00:00 CST Whew! The first draft of Venus Comes of Age, The Wit and Wiisdom of Menopausal Goddesses is finally complete. I've been feeling like a pregnant woman whose delivery is a month overdue. Finally, the labor is over and the Venuses are the proud moms of a bouncing baby manuscript. 4 lb - 11 in long. <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10; Thu, 17 May 2007 00:00:00 CST Some days, I feel like I'm living in a bizarre reality show as I slog through menopause. I can hear the little announcer in my head with the commercial: <br /> <br />Announcing a new season of SURVIVOR - MENOPAUSE ISLAND, the reality TV show where contestants (all female) are forced to participate. This is the most difficult and harrowing SURVIVOR to date. New challenges await participants around the corner of every new day. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;12;;14;;17; Wed, 23 May 2007 00:00:00 CST The question I hear most often from menopausal goddesses are these. Will my symptoms ever get better? Will this ever end? <br /> <br />The answers are Yes and No, respectively. <br /> <br />Every woman's menopause is different. Still, the worst of the symptoms seems to last about two years. The mental fog banks dissipate into light, patchy fog. The ass-dragging fatigue makes way for more energy and vitality. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;11;;12;;17; Sun, 27 May 2007 00:00:00 CST Will I ever feel like myself again? That is the second most frequently asked question I hear from midlife goddesses. <br /> <br />"I just don't feel like me anymore," could well be the universal mantra for the menopausal woman. I've yet to meet any post-menopausal goddess who claims to feel like she used to. It seems that we have actually morphed into someone new. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;18; Fri, 01 Jun 2007 00:00:00 CST Memory loss is one of the more disturbing manifestations of Menopause Brain. Just when it seems that it cannot get any worse, I climb on a plane for a five + hour flight. I love zoning out for such a long time period - no one expects you to DO anything when you are traveling. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;17; Mon, 11 Jun 2007 00:00:00 CST "Middle-aged women are the people most likely to watch the Weather Channel," my husband read to me from the newspaper. "Isn't that strange?" <br />"Not really," I said sheepishly, as if confessing some secret desire. "I think The Weather Channel is interesting." <br />"Why?", my husband asked, mystified. "You can check the weather you need to know on the internet in a matter of minutes. Why watch it as entertainment?" <br /> <br />After prolonged musing, I think understand why the demographic of The Weather Channel might be women of a certain age. We feel intimately connected to weather. The only thing that is changing as much as we are moment-to-moment IS the weather. <br />Some of the changes (in weather and in us) are dramatic upheavals - tornados, hurricanes, and the like, turning everything upside down. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;12;;14; Sat, 23 Jun 2007 00:00:00 CST My apologies for not posting a blog entry in the last couple of weeks. I don't know if my paucity of ideas and motivation were due to post-traumatic stress, laziness, or some weird sort of combo effect. Shortly after my last posting, my hometown was swept by a wildfire. It was huge, fanned by strong winds and exacerbated by an extremely dry winter. Summoning heroic effort, firefighters fought the blaze which threatened the entire town of South Lake Tahoe, bringing the conflagration to its knees. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;12; Sun, 08 Jul 2007 00:00:00 CST The sheer number of atrocities and indignities visited upon menopausal women is legion. Among the Venuses, we thought we'd pretty much experienced them all: hot flashes, night sweats, tender tatas, dry skin, eyes, and hair, emotional roller coaster rides, memory loss, fatigue, weight gain and more. <br /> <br />We literally thought that nothing the big M dished out could surprise us. Then Burning Lip Syndrome and its nasty little cousin, Burning Mouth Syndrome, (BMS) brought us to our virtual knees. <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;15;;17; Mon, 16 Jul 2007 00:00:00 CST Menopause is a rude awakening for most of us. It's not your garden variety rude either. We're talking Animal-House-frat-party, Fat-Tuesday-drunken-reveller, ginormous-SUV-riding-your-bumper-at-75-mph type rude. But the good news is: it IS an awakening. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;18; Wed, 25 Jul 2007 00:00:00 CST My husband got an iPhone the other day and I got an iFan. Personally, I think I got the better deal. <br /> <br />Summertime is a beautiful season, but it IS hot. For those of us who are hormonally challenged, the search for cooling measures is neverending. One of my favorite quick cool measures is Deep Cooling Body Lotion by Emerita. (see link below) I don't know what's in it (except that it's all natural) and I don't care. It cools me off when the heat flares through me like my own personal forest fire. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;15; Mon, 30 Jul 2007 00:00:00 CST Menopausal women are scary. No doubt about it. Just look at the abject fear on the faces around you when you start the descent on the emotional roller coaster ride. <br /> <br />Case in point. I'm cleaning up the kitchen after a quiet, lovely dinner. The pint of salad dressing that my husband has just made is sitting on the counter. When I try to put the lid on it, it jumps up into the air and spills. All over me, all over the floor, all over the rug in front of the sink and halfway up the wall. <br /> <br />I don't know whether to curse, cry, or curl up into the fetal position. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;13; Tue, 07 Aug 2007 00:00:00 CST Susan writes that she doesn't know which is worse: her constant feeling of sadness or her hot flashes. That's easy - whichever one is occurring at the moment is worse! <br /> <br />Seriously, though, for many of us, depression is a disconcerting emotional change that deluges us in menopause. Certainly we have a fair amount to be depressed about (see "Menopause - Good Grief" blog entry - under Menopause & Emotion category.) And yet, our crying jags seem totally out of proportion to the events that precipitate them. <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10; Wed, 15 Aug 2007 00:00:00 CST Theresa-Venus and I have just returned home from a fabulous, rejuvenating few days at the Spa at Squaw Creek Resort near Lake Tahoe. Greeting our mates warmly, we proudly trot out our latest "vision". In the spirit of reinventing ourselves, we've come up with a new career path. <br /> <br />"Spa Slut - that's not a real job," protests Theresa-Venus's husband. "Not yet," we tell him. "But we're workin' on it." <br /> <br />Okay, maybe we won't ever make our living going from spa to spa, experiencing and critiquing various hot stone massages... Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12; Sat, 25 Aug 2007 00:00:00 CST It's an arduous journey we menopausal goddesses have embarked upon. Without training, preparation, or a plan. Worse yet, without a choice. <br /> <br />Ascending the menopausal mountain is like climbing our own personal Everest. And like those intrepid Himalayan explorers, we encounter both joy and trauma along the way. <br /> <br />Our menopause adventure is a first ascent... Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;12;;14;;18; Mon, 03 Sep 2007 00:00:00 CST Worry. Fretting. Nervousness. I rarely suffered from these conditions prior to beginning my menopausal journey. I remember thinking, "I don't worry. This is just not me." Alas, it is me. And you. Now. <br /> <br />Heck, everyone's been anxious off and on through their life prior to now. And as time has progressed, we've garnered enough lived experience to know that most things work themselves out, with or without our intervention. But our worrywart mechanism can significantly spike during menopause's hormonal vortexes and we find ourselves just generally fretting... Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;15; Fri, 07 Sep 2007 00:00:00 CST Along with so many weird phenomenon attributed to the Change comes a newfound sensitivity to noise. The simple sound of breathing can be too much, too loud. The football game, the leaf blower, or the stereo are in danger of triggering a psychotic break. Even my favorite music or the mew of a beloved cat can tighten my neck muscles so taut that my shoulders rise up to my ears and my teeth clench tighter than a victim of lockjaw. Most of the menopausal women I know suffer from this malady. Sound is more than an irritant - it's an invasion. <br /> <br />Perhaps our menopausal hypersensitivity to noise can be likened to that of people who overdevelop one sense when another sense is waning or diminished... Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;15;;17; Wed, 12 Sep 2007 00:00:00 CST Hot flashes have made us into feverish children: hot, cranky, irritable, and just plain pissed off. At some point, however, the worst of the menopausal madness is over. The fevers abate and we find some emotional equilibrium. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10; Tue, 18 Sep 2007 00:00:00 CST Menopause - "Men on Pause" Bill Maher calls it. and while that's not exactly true - well, it's not exactly not true. <br /> <br />What I'm talking about here is Sex. I like Sex. A lot. I enjoy it, I adore my husband, sex has health benefits up the kazoo, and so on. But here's the rub. Though I like it a lot and want to continue doing it as long as I have a skeleton covered by skin, I don't want to do it as much as I used to. I'm no longer consumed by it. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;13;;14; Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:00:00 CST I've just returned from 2 1/2 weeks vacation running the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon. No phones, no email, no distractions save beauty beyond my wildest imaginings. Slowing down to geologic time is gloriously rejuvenating. (Yes, I'm aware that there were blog entries while I was out of touch - I wrote them before leaving technology in the rear view mirror and my magical webmaster, Bill, posted them for me.) While I have been lucky enough to float the Canyon 12 times so far: I never tire of it. My husband and I were married years ago in one of it's beautiful side canyons. <br /> <br />One of our honorary Venuses is a river guide extraordinaire for Grand Canyon Dories. (www.oars.com) Ote Dale (short for Coyote,but that's another story) has been rowing a wooden dory boat down the Colorado, sharing her love of botany and the glories of the Canyon with others for 30+ years. She manages to snatch precious, solitary moments on each trip to indulge her passion for painting, creating fabulous watercolors of the place she loves most on this Earth. Her paintings sell as fast as she creates them. <br /> <br />Now at age 50+, Ote is planning a private trip down the River. (During her off-time, of course.) All her friends and family have asked if they can come along. "Sure," she says. "As long as you realize that this trip is "all about me". Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;18; Thu, 04 Oct 2007 00:00:00 CST The Venuses just finished their fifth annual goddess gathering. We literally look forward to our midlife women's weekend all year long. We know that we'll pick up where we left off: commiserating, consoling, and caring. We also know that we will have to report our progress or lack of same to each other. We look forward with anticipation to plotting a course for the year and our lives to come. And this year's meeting? If there were one word to describe our time together, it would have to be FULL... <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;14; Sun, 14 Oct 2007 00:00:00 CST At the beginning of our menopausal journey, Theresa-Venus observed that mentioning hot flashes or anything related to menopause in mixed company (mixed company meaning 'us' and anyone who was not menopausal) was like "farting in public". It seemed that talking about the "Change" was politically incorrect. <br /> <br />Well excuse us, but menopause itself is politically incorrect! We figure that the only way we midlife goddesses are going to manage this transition without completely flipping out is to openly share our thoughts, feelings, symptoms, and remedies. We're sorry if we make the rest of you uncomfortable; you'll get used to it eventually. We have. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;14;;15;;16; Mon, 22 Oct 2007 00:00:00 CST Memory loss and brain fog swirling through my head are sadly not the only afflictions visited upon my poor mind with menopause. Oh no, seems it wasn't enough that I can't think clearly or remember a doggone thing. Now I get to add ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) to the list of mental whammys that accompany the Change. <br /> <br />Here's an example occurring present tense, right this moment: I'm trying to write this next blog entry. What shall it be about? Midlife challenges and what will we be when we grow up? That's a great one. But wait, there are goddesses still suffering horrendous hot flashes, maybe that's what needs to be addressed next. Depression - that's a biggie. No, what's most important to look at is the question of whether or not to use HRT. I could devote several entries to that topic alone. <br /> <br />Like a hyperactive monkey swinging from branch to branch above the menopausal fray, my mind moves ever more quickly from thought to thought. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;17; Mon, 29 Oct 2007 00:00:00 CST It's Thanksgiving already - time to take stock of things that inspire gratitude. I find that I have so much to be grateful for: family and friends, the beauty outside my window, cats, sunsets, Jimmy Buffett songs, art projects, home renovation that is FINISHED, rain, boat rides, and cheeseburgers. The list goes on and on. <br /> <br />And strangely enough, I'm also grateful for menopause. Oh, don't get me wrong; I'm not wild about hot flashes, weight gain, dryness, or hair thinning. I am an incurable optimist, but I'm not crazy! (Yet). I'd give up the physical changes, emotional rollercoaster and mental derangements in a hot minute. <br /> <br />I'd be less anxious to give up the unexpected side benefits of the big M. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;18; Wed, 21 Nov 2007 00:00:00 CST As mentioned in the Thanksgiving blog entry, I have joined many of my menopausal goddess sisters in giving up worry about looking silly or foolish or clumsy. Which is why I'm suddenly willing to try anything and everything that interests me. I'm asking myself "What do I want to do, to be, to experience?" At the age of 52, I am giving myself a signed permission slip to go on any field trip I wish. (It does help to have family and friends who are in favor of my growth and development!) So on a glorious day this November, I found myself on the beach in Waikiki for my first surfing lesson. My buddy Jack Davis (guru of the Photoshop WOW books) coaxed and coddled me through catching my first waves on a board roughly the size of an aircraft carrier. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;18; Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:00:00 CST In answer to those who have written wanting to know how to begin their own menopause goddess group, we offer this little nuts-and-bolts guide based on our experience with the Venuses. <br /> <br />Getting The Right Mix Theresa-Venus and I started by asking one another "Are there any others out there like us, who are wondering just what the @#&* is going on with this crazy time of life?" We subsequently invited women we knew (in turn having them ask one or two of their friends) to join us for a weekend slumber party with a focus. <br /> <br />First, and foremost, we didn't try to overcontrol the makeup of the group. Whether blessed or naive, we simply trusted that the right women would come together for our first gathering. Naturally, we did avoid asking women who routinely seem to suck the oxygen out of any room they occupy. Thankfully we know few of them. (Although it seems like everyone knows at least one!) <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;12; Mon, 03 Dec 2007 00:00:00 CST Much of our knowledge about creating a menopause goddess group, we gained in retrospect Looking backward and marveling at our unfolding over the past five years, we pondered what had made the Venuses so successful. <br /> <br />Maybe we were just lucky;" we thought. Or maybe the right women simply came together at the right time through kismet. Is is possible that our Venus group is so special that it can't be duplicated? We honestly don't think so. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;14; Sat, 08 Dec 2007 00:00:00 CST Christmas and Menopause. These two things should not coexist in space and time. Each is overwhelming to midlife goddesses by itself. Together, they can bring us to our creaking knees. <br /> <br />This year, I vowed to myself, would be different. I'd be organized, but not anal-retentive. I'd go easy on the shopping (at first, I was going to make presents all year long - a goal jettisoned around Dec. 1 due to lack of inventory and initiative.) Most of all, I would relax into the Christmas spirit and ENJOY it without getting harried and hurried. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;11; Sat, 15 Dec 2007 00:00:00 CST As promised, I did sit down with the eggnog and a book right after my last blog posting. It truly was a relaxing, renewing, and rejuvenating experience, especially because I so enjoyed Eileen McDargh's latest book, "Gifts from the Mountain: Simple Truths for Life's Complexities". Eileen, a menopausal goddess in her own right, has created a tome for all of us as we move along our midlife journey. Read more about it on the Book Club page! Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;18; Mon, 17 Dec 2007 00:00:00 CST It's that time again - time to peek back at the year coming to a close and to look ahead to creating a brand new year. <br /> <br />I used to forget to look back at how much I had accomplished, enjoyed, and lived each year. I was much too focused on what lay ahead and how I might want to improve myself. You know: more exercise, better health habits, being more organized, blah blah blah. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;18; Sat, 29 Dec 2007 00:00:00 CST My cats, Princess and Po, don't have any trouble sleeping. Their mistress cannot claim the same. When Perimenopause first came to live at my house, my biggest complaint wasn't hot flashes or moodswing. Insomnia topped my list of ohmigods. <br /> <br />All my life, I'd been a good sleeper, dropping off for seven or eight hours of deep restful zzzz's every night. Suddenly I was waking every hour, listening to the clock tick or my husband breathing. After a week of fitful half-sleep, I was a basket case. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;15;;17; Sat, 05 Jan 2008 00:00:00 CST Great - we've entered the "goddess" phase of our life, only to find that we are androgynous. We are growing beards. The first time a Venus feels that coarse "hair" poking out of her chin, she is equal parts horrified and fascinated. Unable to reconcile this new reality with her view of herself as a member of the feminine gender, she obsessively strokes and touches it to see if it truly is still there. Perhaps it is a new mole, a zit, or just a figment of overactive imagination. She can't believe that she is actually hoping for a pimple. And when she realizes that the hair truly is protruding from a follicle on her own face, she rushes off for tweezers, hot wax, or electrolysis. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;15;;17; Sat, 12 Jan 2008 00:00:00 CST About two years ago, I was confronted by the Menopause symptom that shattered my Pollyanna outlook forever. My hair seemed to be thinning at an alarming rate. There was no consoling me when I saw the amount of hair in my brush or around the shower drain each day. So overwhelming was my anxiety over this development, that upon meeting a high-powered, intelligent female friend of my brother's for the first time, I forgot my social graces completely. I answered her innocuous question "What did you do today?" with a full-blown Menopausal Tourette's performance. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;15;;17; Tue, 15 Jan 2008 00:00:00 CST Menopause feels like being forced to attend a horror movie, with unimaginable and terrifying twists and turns. Still, I felt that I did a reasonably good job of keeping my eyes open and not screaming until the climactic "disappearing hair" scene. I was stoic through the storylines of hot flashes, insomnia, memory loss, and more. After all, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? <br /> <br />However, when my hair skipped past merely thinning to outright disappearing, I flipped out. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;14;;15;;17; Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:00:00 CST I briefly mentioned Menopausal Tourette's in the January 15th blog entry "Things Got Hairy, Then They Didn't." Judging from the comments and mail I received, it would seem that this menopause symptom has afflicted a number of my sister goddesses. <br /> <br />We all have an internal censor that most of the time keeps us from saying stupid, hurtful, or outrageous things in social situations. Sure, we THINK these things all the time - thoughts like "Wearing that color green makes you look like you have hepatitis" or "Is that your wife or your daughter?" or "You are boring the crap out of me right now." Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;16;;17; Wed, 30 Jan 2008 00:00:00 CST Many women use bioidentical hormones from compounding pharmacies for relief of menopausal symptoms. In fact, so many women are turning to bioidenticals that a significant chunk of the menopausal health care dollar has been diverted from the drug companies. <br /> <br />And now we got trouble - right here in River City. The FDA has told seven compounding pharmacies they may not "make misleading claims" that bioidentical hormones are better than the synthetic ones. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;14;;15; Thu, 07 Feb 2008 00:00:00 CST Menopause is a schizzy thing. The whole transition has the quality of split personality. It's difficult and delightful. It's wonderful and just plain weird. It's frightening and freeing. This may be why so many goddesses tell me that its been hard for them to read the myriad Menopause self-help books out there. (That and we have lost our mental acuity.) These books are not schizophrenic - they are either irritatingly positive and upbeat or a mind-numbing litany of physiology, symptoms, and treatments. Our search for wisdom ends up exhausting us. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;10;;12;;14;;15; Sat, 16 Feb 2008 00:00:00 CST Finally, dear goddesses, there is good news on the hair loss front lines. While I haven't magically grown gobs more hair, I have a new "do" that makes me look like I have full, bouncy hair again. And it is all due to Luna. <br /> <br />Luna is a magician for hair. Part scientist, part sorceress, and part fairy sprite, she informed me that she could help. "My family has six hairs between them," she jokes. "I know everything there is to know about thin hair." It was hard for me to believe, looking at her gorgeous tresses, but hey I've been ready to grasp at straws here. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;15;;17;;18; Fri, 22 Feb 2008 00:00:00 CST When my husband turned 50, I gave him a cartoon depicting the Grim Reaper visiting a man on his 50th birthday. "Have a good time," says Death to the balloon-festooned, party hatted "I just stopped by to remind you that you're mortal." <br /> <br />That cartoon seemed a lot funnier before menopause. One of the many shocks that the Change delivers is an acute sense of a goddess's own mortality. Realizing viscerally that our time here is finite, we begin to consider how we wish to spend the second half of our life. Time alone to just "be", trying new things, travel, and putting ourselves first become priorities. The Venuses have supported one another in all these pursuits and more as we've mapped out our futures. <br /> <br />Yet, we felt that something was still missing. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;14; Tue, 04 Mar 2008 00:00:00 CST For all who've asked for a photo of my new "do", here it is. I sent one of my hula sisters to Luna the Magnificent and she came back a new woman. I think she expressed it best for all of us struggling with thin hair as well as other changes in body image resulting from menopause. "I didn't realize it [hair loss] was bothering me so much until I got my new, thick, gorgeous hair style. It was obviously affecting my self image in a negative way though I couldn't readily see it. I'm so happy now; I feel beautiful!" Me too. What she said. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;15;;17;;18; Sun, 09 Mar 2008 00:00:00 CST Theresa-Venus and I are passionate about golf. We love to play, and we especially love to play together. She observed just the other day how much better our respective golf games have become now we've reached our fifties vs how much we struggled and fought to improve when in our forties. (Yeah, we've been playing that long and we still have substantial handicaps!) Yet, we seem to be striving less and enjoying more. Is it possible that we are finally relaxing into our pursuits, finding the simple joy and pleasure with less of the internal pressure to "be good at it."? And in some bizarre twist of fate, we've actually gotten better? It sure seems like it. While we don't have a literal scorecard for our artistic endeavors, but we think we've gotten better at those too. <br /> <br />One of the ways we Venuses are growing ourselves in the "heat" of midlife comes down to finding and expressing a passion. As we explore creating a Vision for the second half of our lives, we begin to ask ourselves what we want to do, be, or manifest. What we are passionate about, what excites and moves us? Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;14;;18; Tue, 18 Mar 2008 00:00:00 CST Menopause is not a disease (although it darn sure feels like one to those of us suffering through it.) It's a normal, albeit intense, transition. It is important for us to keep reminding ourselves of this when searching for relief. Confronted with myriad treatment options, we need to be able to CHOOSE the most effective remedies with the least potential for harm. Here are a few "rules" we Venuses recommend to help guide your choices. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;15;;16;;17; Fri, 28 Mar 2008 00:00:00 CST In wading through the sea of choices for menopause relief, we have just a couple more guidelines for all our goddess sisters to keep in mind. Remember to check in with your health care practitioners and your girlfriends for solutions, but monitor your own individual response. You are the only real expert on your body and your menopause process - in other words, you're in charge of your own treatment. Yeah, we know it sucks. Right now, we'd really just like someone else to make it all better, because we're hot, we can't think, and our emotions are causing us more ups and downs than the stock market. But turning over responsibility for our bodies is a slippery slope to possible unnecessary hysterectomy and/or hormone therapy. Remember, we are essentially in uncharted waters here. Okay, on with the continuation of our guidelines. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;15;;16;;17; Thu, 03 Apr 2008 00:00:00 CST "Oomph," grunts my husband lifting my suitcase, as we prepared to leave for a recent trip. "Why is your bag so heavy?" "Maintenance," I reply. <br /> <br />In the post-menopausal period of my life, I find that I require a great many products, supplements, and emollients just to maintain a level of adequacy. I'm not trying to look glamorous or sexy; I'm simply trying not to frighten small children. Or myself when I happen to encounter a mirror. <br /> <br />For those of you who've followed the "hair thinning" saga, you won't be surprised that I need to pack my special Nioxin shampoo and conditioner, my wide tooth comb and gentle brush, my two products to maximize curl, gel to help style the improved curls, a purifying rinse to get all the built up crap out of my hair from these tenacious cremes and sprays, and a special every-few-days industrial strength conditioner. That's several pounds devoted to hair alone. <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;10;;12;;15; Sun, 13 Apr 2008 00:00:00 CST Auntie Kauila is a kumu hula - a hula master in Hawaii. She is 84 and can bend lower than I and most of my hula sisters. She passes on her vast repertoire of knowledge of chant and dance to her students, most of whom are midlife and older. Her day job consists of teaching Hawaiian culture to elementary school children. She is active, fit, and a powerhouse of energy. And she was bubbling over the other day about a new hula she had learned. That's right - "learned." She is a renowned expert and she's still learning. I want to be Auntie Kauila when I grow up. <br /> <br />While I admire her accomplishments, grace, and stamina, I mostly want to be her because she is so interested. In everything. And being interested makes her interesting. She gets high marks on the role model scale for the second half of my life. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;14;;18; Mon, 21 Apr 2008 00:00:00 CST Remember those cartoons with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other tormenting some hapless soul who is struggling to make a decision? Usually the battle is between something she wants vs something she should do. Well, I can relate. I have my own little menopause advisors perched on my shoulders who go at me every day. I even have names for them: the Fitness Freak and the Sloth Bear. <br /> <br />The Fitness Freak drives me bonkers. She wants me to go go go. "Lift weights," she exhorts. "You know those flabby underarms need toning." "Go walking - aerobic exercise is absolutely necessary for good heart health." <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;15;;18; Sun, 27 Apr 2008 00:00:00 CST Early in perimenopause, I was complaining to Lei-Venus that I was feeling heat crest in waves over me, but even more upsetting to me was the change in my sleep patterns. Having always slept soundly, I was now waking every hour or two and experiencing nights of restless, broken sleep. Without a word, Lei grabbed me by the hand and pulled me bodily down the street to the health food store. She plunked a jar of Natural Woman progesterone cream in my hand, declaring "Buy this now - it may take up to two weeks to help, but you'll be a new woman." I felt the difference in two days. After a week, I was sleeping through the night again. <br /> <br />In the beginning of perimenopause, progesterone levels drop which can begin the annoying symptoms of hot flashes, insomnia, and mood swings. Natural progesterone cream is a good first step and may be all you need to weather the storm of symptoms. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;15;;16;;17; Sun, 04 May 2008 00:00:00 CST For just about a year, my hot flashes, insomnia, and mood alterations were down to a dull roar thanks to my natural progesterone cream. And then I started down the next dip on the Menopause roller coaster. <br /> <br />Early in perimenopause, progesterone levels drop. Later in the transition, estrogen levels decrease as well, causing a resurgence of hot flashes, mood swings, insomnia, vaginal dryness, and more. The progesterone cream that worked initially is no longer enough. We may feel the need for estrogen supplementation. I surely did. Following the rules and guidelines for remedies, I wished to start with the least heavy duty, most "natural" remedy first. Enter natural remedy #1: soy. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;15;;17; Sat, 10 May 2008 00:00:00 CST I was getting my hair done a couple years ago at my favorite salon, along with five other women 'of an age', when talk turned to the Change. Most of us were loudly proclaiming our favorite natural remedies and fixes. The woman in the chair adjacent to mine finally spoke up apologizing to the roomful of menopausal goddesses for having "caved", finally starting HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy).. <br /> <br />"It's just that I couldn't sleep," she told us shamefacedly. "I couldn't sleep at all. I was so tired I couldn't function. And nothing else worked." We all leapt in to assure her that there was no need to feel guilty. The risk-benefit ratio seemed pretty clear to all of us. Underscored for us was that we women need to support one another through this process rather than judge anyone, including ourselves. <br /> <br />But I have to admit that I was feeling pretty smug and blessed that I was coping without HRT. My symptoms were manageable. What's that thing they say goeth before a fall? Oh yeah, pride. I no longer have a surplus of that. I eventually ended up on low dose HRT myself. And honestly, I wish I'd taken it sooner. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;15;;16;;17; Sun, 18 May 2008 00:00:00 CST I had my mammogram the other day. And since the x-ray technician performing my exam was a menopausal goddess, we struck up an instant rapport. Upon finding out about the Venus group, she asked me to distill what we'd learned together - sort of a 25 words or less synopsis because other mammos were waiting to be grammed. I summed it up this way. "Every woman is different and has to conduct her own risk benefit analysis to decide what is best for her. And the way we get wisdom is through woman-to-woman sharing." <br /> <br />After agreeing wholeheartedly, she shared that two of the gynecologists at the big medical center in our nearest city offer no other recommendations for women suffering menopause symptoms than HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy.) "And they are young! In their 30's still." Proving what I've always suspected: that hardening of the attitude is not an age-related phenomenon. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;14;;15;;17; Sat, 24 May 2008 00:00:00 CST Some time ago, I talked about the relief of actually finishing the first draft of the book documenting the Venuses' journey thus far through the obstacled paths of menopause and out onto the open road of midlife. <br /> <br />But when one births a book, it's a uniquely weird experience. The manuscript morphs through edits and rewrites, which is somewhat like shoving the baby back up the birth canal into the uterus for further maturation. And the process is exhausting and exhilarating each time. <br /> <br />Essentially, several birthings take place before the book can be pronounced ready to be given up. That's right, you send your baby out into the world and it makes the circuit of the publishing industry. There it competes with other babies for title of "most gifted" (aka most salable.) <br /> <br />A trusted midwife (known as a literary agent) who already believes in this baby's potential presents her to publishers. At the same time, she performs nurturing and wet-nursing duties - for the mom...er author. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;14; Sat, 31 May 2008 00:00:00 CST Let me just say, for the record, that we Venuses have been on this planet long enough to realize in our very cells that life is not fair. But we also recognize that there are depths to some of the unfairness that need to be plumbed. One of the deep injustices of particular concern to us has to be the difference between puberty and menopause. Not only are the physical, emotional, and mental changes that occur during menopause akin to puberty squared (or maybe puberty to the tenth power), but the amount of external support for these changes is like the difference in the number of photons present in day vs night. Think we exaggerate? Okay, let's compare the two side by side, with our tongues only slightly stuck to our cheek linings. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;11;;12;;14;;16;;17; Sat, 07 Jun 2008 00:00:00 CST Back in February, I wrote about a disturbing action taken by the FDA under pressure from Wyeth pharmaceuticals, the makers of Premarin and Prempro. (See blog entry titled "Bioidentical Hormone Access Threatened - Act Now" dated Feb. 7, 2008.) <br />Wyeth took a financial hit after the Women's Health Initiiative study found some serious adverse effects to synthetic HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy.) Market share severely affected, they persuaded the FDA to restrict access to bioidentical hormones. Nice! <br /> <br />Briefly, the FDA has stopped compounding pharmacies from dispensing estriol (a naturally occuring estrogen in our bodies) unless they have an investigational drug permit. I don't have time or space to explain how hard it is to get and implement such a permit. It's like unraveling a Gordian knot with your teeth. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;14;;15; Sat, 14 Jun 2008 00:00:00 CST A while ago, (I can't remember exactly when, but that's the Big M for you.), I wrote that menopausal women should not fly. In airplanes. Jet lag can make an already cranky goddess downright vicious. <br /> <br />Yet, now that the worst of the hot flashes, moodswings, and brain fog are in my rear view mirror, I can truly say that I love air travel, particularly long flights. Okay, I hate the packing and the obsessing and the security lines and the endless crap leading up to the flight. But once I'm in my seat and have snapped the buckle of my seatbelt into place, I am a happy woman. <br /> <br />No one can reach me. No phone, no email, no faxes, no doorbell. Plane flights are a modern day version of the old ads from the seventies where a woman indulges in a bubble bath to escape the cares of the day. "Calgon, take me away........" While there are no bubbles, there are "attendants" who shut the world out when they close the door handle and bring you cool drinks. And not a few of them are menopausal goddesses themselves. <br /> <br /> Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;14;;15;;17; Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:00:00 CST I've been spending the last several days photographing and looking at flowers. In all stages. Buds, opening blooms, full-on vibrant blossoms, fading flowers. All different. All beautiful. <br /> <br />Since the advent of the Big M, I've suffered some confusion as to whether we goddesses are blossoming anew or beginning to wilt. Certainly, for me, the answer depends on the day. Or the hour. I sometimes feel like I'm the subject of one of those time lapse films where the flower goes from closed to open. Then in a diabolical turn, the film reverses and I go from open to closed. Closed, open. Open, closed. I don't know if I'm blossoming or going to seed. Main Blog http://www.menopausegoddessblog.org/index.htm?id=;7;;12;;18; Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:00:00 CST